This is a Serious Matter...

Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc Celebrates 105th Founders’ Day

Happy Founders’ Day to all my lovely Sorors of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc.  I often times reflect on the times during which this lovely organization came to be founded.  January 15, 1908, a time during which African Americans were still trying to fight for basic civil rights.  These women forged a way to create an inspiration and message of hope, service and sisterhood for generations to come.

I’ve come across many people with many different opinions of Greek Letter Organizations.  The one thing however that can not be denied is the commitment to service and uplifting the African American community that each one brings to the table.  15 years ago, my commitment to service began and it has not stopped yet.  With that said Skeeeeeeeeee Weeeeeeeeee my Sorors!!!

Fall ’97 Eta Sigma (HE) Chapter                                                                                                                                                                                                               #4 Unforgettable                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      “New Beginning”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               San Francisco State University

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When Love Hurts: Is Domestic Violence Defined By Culture?

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month (Photo credit: Morning Calm News)

Can we turn our focus for one moment from building a career, branding ourselves and becoming the next break out star and focus on some major issues that are sweeping across the nation, bullying and domestic violence.  Yesterday, I logged onto my computer and immediately went to some of my favorite sites with high hopes and expectations of reading some informative articles on domestic violence awareness.  To my dismay, there were none.  I was proud to see the pink ribbons for Breast Cancer Awareness month but it still seems as if domestic violence is the taboo topic in the African American Community.

Domestic violence does not discriminate against race, age, gender, social status or faith.  It doesn’t just affect the individual parties involved but also the children, extended families and communities.  October has been recognized as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  It is important that the community at large is aware of this epidemic and also that those who may be suffering in silence know where to seek help and support.  The first step to prevention is awareness.

According to reports, African American women experience domestic violence at a rate of 35% higher than white women.  As a race, do we understand what domestic violence is? Domestic violence manifest itself in a relationship in various ways.  Whether it is economic, verbal, emotional, sexual or physical, domestic violence leaves wounds and can have lasting, even deadly, effects if not dealt with.  Domestic violence as defined by the U.S. Department of Justice Office of Violence Against Women is “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological or threats of actions that influence another person”.  www.ovw.usdoj.gov

Statistics show that domestic violence is more common than we think effecting 1 in 3 women.  The level of incidence does not measure up to the amount of attention or discussion it is given.  Continuous discussions and education about domestic violence is vital to increasing awareness and prevention.  If we do not discuss domestic violence as it pertains to relationships, it will show up in the classrooms affecting the lives of our children as a result of bullying.  The effects of domestic violence do not lie.  We teach our children, whether positive or negative instructions, through the relationships and friendships we engage in.  “I will never let a man hit me!”  Well, truth be told, some of you have been hit by his words and punched by his lies.  Domestic violence is more than physical and will show up in how he/she communicates.  Do we really understand what emotional abuse is?  Today’s Hip Hop generation minimizes it by calling it “game”.  If he/she lies, manipulates, ridicules, blames, or shames (these are just a few examples) to gain control of a situation, make you feel insecure to keep you around, isolate you from friends, etc, it is not “game” it’s abuse.  There is no room for emotional “games” in a healthy relationship.

Society says that calling a woman a “Bad B@&#! or calling a man a N!@@$ are terms of endearment.  When someone uses degrading words to identify you the definition doesn’t change whether one is laughing or in a heated argument.  Many people deal with verbal abuse on a regular basis and don’t even realize it.  Overtime you begin to respond and according to the names you have been called.  Words have the power to build up and tear down, heal or inflict pain, use them wisely.

Some history about Domestic Violence:

-In 1974, the first shelter for battered women was established.

-In 1976, La Casa de Las Madres in San Francisco, California opened, becoming the first battered women’s shelter established by women of color.

-In 1981, the first annual domestic violence awareness week is celebrated.

-In 1990, United State Senator Biden introduces the first Violence Against Women Act.

-In 1994, the Violence Against Women Act is signed into law.

-In 2008, the National Domestic Violence hotline received its two millionth call.

If you or someone you know is or has been a victim of domestic violence, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE or (800) 787-3224 (TTY)

2012 Blog Challenge: R.A.T.L. 365

“Building (R)elationships of (A)ccountability and (T)rust with all roads leading to (Love.” 

 R.A.T.L. (rattle) Relationship, Accountability, Trust and Love…the acronym used for the mission statement of my non-profit, Mother 2 Mother CDC.  2012 is a year for change and we often here the phrase, “Be the change you wish to see”.  I am going to post each day about how I fulfilled one of the principles within the mission statement.

  • Relationships: Mother 2 Mother wants to inspire pro-social friendships, strong interpersonal skills, and instill a sense of hope in the future.
  • Accountability: The focus of Mother 2 Mother is to empower mothers in establishing goals and following through on commitments.
  • Trust: Mother 2 Mother wants to help to diminish the negative stigma attached to relationships amongst women while instilling the importance of trusting and quality relationships.
  • Love: An individual is dramatically influenced by their support system. Mother 2 Mother wants to surround mothers in a caring, supportive and loving environment; allowing them to heal and grow.

I am always up for a blogging challenge and you should join me.  Let’s get ready to shake, RATL and roll…use RATL in your tags and #RATL in your tweets.  Find a way to accomplish one principle per day in the mission statement and compile a post. 

“Any act often repeated soon forms a habit; and habit allowed, steady gains in strength, At first it may be but as a spider’s web, easily broken through, but if not resisted it soon binds us with chains of steel.” – Tryon Edwards

Breathe On Me…

“And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils that breath of life; and man became a living soul.” Genesis 2:7

Over the past week, I have been thinking about and missing my father dearly.  Not just as my natural father, but also as my spiritual father.  He nurtured and directed me, long before I recognized what was in me.  He left room for me to error but also assisted with me discovering the lesson to be learned in my error.  He supported my dreams and he always told me I could do and become anything as long as I set my mind to it.  He breathed life in me when I was lifeless.  When I had messed up and given up, he told me to keep going.

Now I feel a void in my life, that has not been filled.  We often times speak of the “fatherless child” but in the spiritual sense this can’t be.  However, it is in fact the case.  Our communities are a reflection of the church.  We have a lot of leaders, but no one is willing to be a father.  No one willing to breathe life into the next man or woman for fear of being replaced.  A “true” leader births out other leaders as a “father” assist at bringing forth sons and daughters who will develop into fathers and mothers.   The church has far too many living bodies with dead souls…breathe on us Lord.

So I ask, where are the Abrahams, the fathers of many nations? Where are the Noahs, the fathers willing to build and protect their seed even when it doesn’t make sense?  Where are the Isaacs, the fathers faithful to offer up their best sacrifice.  And the Seths, the fathers that will bring forth men to call upon the name of the Lord. “And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos; then began men to call upon the name of the Lord.” Genesis 4:26

3 Year Blogaversary Giveaway

So excited for, “For Colored Gurls” 3 Year Blogaversary.  Over the past year or so, I have enjoyed the inspirational writings from the Founder, Jamie Fleming-Dixon and other women.  I didn’t have to think twice about helping her celebrate.  Visit the site for details on how you can join in the celebration.  Someone will receive a Mother 2 Mother Tote bag as well as a copy of Sunday Mourning.  Click the link here——>>>>> 3 Year Blogaversary Giveaway .