Tag Archives: habits

Nov 27 2012

2013: Make No Resolutions

English: New Year's Resolutions postcard

English: New Year’s Resolutions postcard (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Where did the time go? 2012 introduced so many opportunities, some seized and others re-evaluated and passed over.  I did not begin the year with a list of resolutions but clear goals and a plan.  Instead of focusing on what I no longer would do, I shifted my focus to what I wanted and what I would do to accomplish it.  So I am going to bring in 2013 the same way.  Here are few things that I have started doing now in order to ensure they are engraved in my memory in 2013.

-Starting My Work Day Earlier vs Working Later

I have been working on a new sleep schedule.  I am a night owl and sometimes insomnia gets the best of me.  However, long nights don’t work with early mornings.  I have noticed that staying up late makes it that much harder for me to start my day in the morning.  So for the past week or so I have been working towards starting my day at 5;30am and ending my work day around 9pm.  Let me tell you my mind thinks it is a great idea but my body hates it.  They say it takes 30 days to make something a habit so I am glad I am starting early.

-Lunch For Two

Typically lunch is spent either at home with my 3 and 4 year old or we go out for lunch.  I have officially gotten my 3 and 4 year old addicted to sushi, greek olives, feta cheese and Pho, just to name a few of our favorites lunch items.  You would think that the three of us were having some sort of master mind business meetings once the bill comes to the table.  Well in 2013, I will still be going to lunch but the 3 and 4 year will be going to a sitter and I will be meeting with other business minded individuals, to brainstorm, re-focus, strategize and plan.

-Creating Balance

For the past two years almost three, I have conducted a great majority of my business online.  I have built some phenomenal relationships with women all across the world.  These relationship have grown even offline to frequent phone conversations.  Now in 2013, I plan to do a little more traveling and organizing meet ups, interacting a lot more locally and balance my online interactions with my offline interactions.

So many changes are coming in 2013 and I might as well plan for them.  I am focusing on the do’s and not the don’t's.  I started the year with a clear vision.  I wanted to start a t-shirt line and now looking back I did just that.  I must say I was reluctant at first and didn’t know how it would go but it was the best risk I could have ever taken.  I started taking my writing even more serious than before and began quite a few new features to the site.  RN Series and Author Interviews stretched me and also helped rediscover a passion.  I began writing for a local newspaper which has created even more opportunities.  I am going into the New Year with endless possibilities, full of energy and a plan.

What are some of your do’s for 2013?

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Jun 24 2012

Swiper No Swiping

budget

budget (Photo credit: SurvivalWoman)

“To whom much is given, much is required.”  When I first started my business, I hadn’t been saving for years and planning my exit from Corporate America, my release from my employer was sudden.  As a matter of fact, I hadn’t even been thinking of starting a business in the near future.  Yes the business plan had been written and had even began collecting dust, but there wasn’t a date, time frame or realistic plan of when I was going to take it on.  Nonetheless, when I found myself unemployed, I did what came natural; I started my own business.  As a single mother, I knew I couldn’t support my family on the meager wages employers were offering and working two jobs wasn’t an option.   Who would tend to my children?

No matter what the circumstances that exist when beginning a business, the process and priorities are virtually the same.  The most important thing I had to learn was budgeting.  I had to find away to make the money I had last longer, accomplish more and generate a return.  The easiest way for me to do this, was withdrawing the cash money that I had allotted myself for each week and only using that amount to accomplish what needed to be accomplished, groceries, utilities, transportation, etc.  I had to get out of the habit of swiping my debit card.  I realized that I spent more and was less aware of my spending when I wasn’t using cash.

I remember when the debit card was first introduced in the banking world.  They wanted us to make sure every customer had a debit card.  I think the banks had done their research, using credit cards as a model, and noticed that people spend more when it is not cash being exchanged but plastic.  Well swiper no swiping, I went back to what worked.  I can remember older customers coming in with their envelopes, one was usually marked spending money and the other bills, or something along those lines.  But the concept here, is that they knew how and where their money was being spent and made a point to stay within in budget.

5 tips for maintaining a budget:

1.  Write out your monthly expenses and then also account for the money that you have coming in.  Paint a realistic picture of how you spend your money.  Use old banking statements or  look over receipts, this will give you an idea of where you spend your money.

2.  Set a dollar figure that is less than what is coming in.  Make sure you have listed all the necessary bills to be paid.  Then also look for ways to cut back on your current bills.  I recently began saving about $30 on my monthly cell phone bill with AT&T.  I had previously had the unlimited calling plan which cost 69.99 a month, plus unlimited data and text message.  Well they recently introduced new calling plans that allow unlimited calls from mobile to mobile.  Well everyone uses a cell phone nowadays, I reduced my plan to 450 anytime minutes (with rollover) and now I am saving $30 on that alone.  Since I am saving that, it doesn’t mean I find another way to spend it, I save it.

3.  Carry cash.  I know it seems like a prehistoric concept but carrying cash and putting those debit cards up will have a drastic impact on how much you spend.  It will also reduce those spur of the moment spending habits.  I have also noticed that some places reward you for paying with cash, paying for gas and at a recent visit to a restaurant 10% off.

4. Pay your bills on time.  Who wants to pay late fees?  I know I don’t and let’s face it, late fees are a waste of money.  Set up automatic payments.  Since you won’t be using your debit card, you can rest assured that there will be money in the bank to cover any recurring debits.  This will also give you the peace of mind knowing that the bills are paid and on time.

5.  Cut coupons.  This is something that I am still getting familiar with and trying to get in the habit of doing, but coupons can not only help you save but in some case cut your budget in half.  We all have to budget for food and groceries.  Imagine having a $500 monthly budget for food and walking in the grocery store and getting $500 worth of food for less than $300.  People have been saving even more, according to extreme couponers.

I have put each one of these tips to practice and the results have definitely been worth it.  I budget a very small monthly income, but I am able to meet all of my expenses and still put money into my business to keep it afloat.  I am also able to support other business, tithe and donate.  One thing I will say, giving %10 and not managing the other %90 will not get you the blessing that you have been hoping and praying for.  You have to become a better steward of the 90%.

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Jan 15 2012

Making It A Habit

Old habits do die, but it definitely takes a fight.  It seems like as soon as I committed to blogging daily, and I don’t mean for a month, but for the entire 2012, I wanted to take it back.  Last year, I was blogging weekly and life was good.  But I have a goal in mind for 2012 and with that goal comes hard work, dedication and change.  It’s true old habits do die hard, but now just about at the half-way mark of creating a new habit, I can see the light.  Each day I convince myself to post, brainstorm topics and execute.  I will continue to do so until my new habit becomes second nature. 

4 Steps to Staying Motivated

-Focus on the goal – You should have a goal in mind, otherwise your hardwork will seem like it is never ending.   The goal should also be one that is measurable.  Everything you are doing to accomplish your goal, should add up and make sense. 

-Celebrate – You should celebrate each hurdle jumped and new accomplishment, even the little ones.  Each time I hit publish is cause for a celebration.  Each time a comment is left, a liked clicked or an additional follower, its icing on the cake. 

-Accountability – Have someone in your corner that will push you, cheer for you and make sure you are getting things done.  I have a few twitter followers that I send friendly reminders to and try to keep them encouraged.  It works.

-Keep Going – Even when you feel like you can’t, find a way. Motivation comes by doing.  If writing is your goal, “whatever you do, don’t stop writing”.

“Building relationship of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love.” RATL

goal

Image by Sean MacEntee via Flickr

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Apr 7 2011

Day 23 – By Way of Transition

According to the Meriam Dictionary, transiton is a passage from one stage, state, subject or place to another. How many times have you prayed saying, “Lord your will be done”, then set back as if you were waiting on him? A couple of weeks ago, I realized that after all the prayers I had prayed His will was already being done. While I was waiting on him, He was waiting on me to believe that he had already done just what he said he would do. This is the place that he wants me to be in. “My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.” James 1:2-3

Sometimes we expect things to happen all at once instead of gradually or by way of transition. The place that he has put me in right now keeps a continually praise on my heart and a prayer on my mind. What other place would I rather be? We sometimes ask God for a miracle, when in fact he is saying the miracle is right before you, I am just waiting on you to believe it. “And we know that all thigns work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

I know that this place that I am in is not my destination it is just a temporary place of transition. The End is my new beginning, everything that the enemy stole from me is being released. I am who God says that I am, I am the head and not the tail. “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14

Mar 24 2011

Day 19 – Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

I know my 30 days worth of post and habit changing should probably be completed but some changes can not be transformed online. One thing that has progessed online is my writing and being more consistent at it. I am using day to day circumstances to draw inspiration and I am learning more about me in the process. The other day I posted on my Facebook status, “Watch out now or you might become the subject of one of my blogs.”

Well on tonight, my children will play the stars. I am not one that is big on fastfood and I really do not like pizza. I prepare a homecooked meal daily, no matter how long the day or how much I have to get done.

But after a day of work and forgetting to take something out of the freezer this morning, the easiest thing was to order some pizza. The kids came into the house and as I instructed began picking up things that had been left out, taking the garbage out, vaccuuming, etc., so I figured hey why not just order a couple of pizzas and call it a night. I called Dominos, ordered two pizzas and in my mind we were set. Well, I have been working on a few areas with my children and one is respecting others property or personal space. You do not go in my room unless instructed. No sooner than I hung up the phone, two of my children went into my bedroom. Without any hesitation, I stated I am cancelling the order for pizza, picked up the phone and cancelled out the order. My children should know by now, I don’t mind cooking. But a greater lesson had to be taught. “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

I proceeded to the kitchen, pulled the porked chops out of the freezer and began to thaw them out. 2011 is the year that I “Say What I Mean and Mean What I Say”. I am raising 4 young men and if they won’t respect me first as their mother, a women, provider, etc., then how can I expect them to respect another young lady. I may not be able to teach them how to be men, but I can definitely teach them how a woman deserves and needs to be treated. My oldest is only 9, so I have quite a few more years to worry about girls, but the training has already started and will continue.

Mar 9 2011

Day 12 – Nonverbal Cues

I love how my little ones communicate to me, even when they are not using their words; I get the message loud and clear. “Sargent don’t play in your food.” This is what I said during lunch today when he has lost interest in eating and clearly just wanted to lay down for his nap. We learn this type of communication in infancy and a lot of us still use it to communicate as adults.

For example, my siblings use to say that when I was going through something my contact always became less frequent; less phone calls, visiting, etc. So whenever either of them noticed, they would make sure to reach out to me. We have all heard that saying, “I built a wall not to keep people out, but to see who loved me enough to climb over”.

I can’t say it enough, there are so many people, unfortunately, that are hurting or have been hurt. Just like a baby cries when he/she is in pain until we figure out the location, some of us cry out but no one understands where the source of pain is coming from. When we allow ourselves to listen to the nonverbal cues first and not make judgment, we can actually begin to understand the area in a person’s life that needs attention. “The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” Jeremiah 31:3

My children’s father use to get so irritated when our second son would cry. My response was always, “Well you wanted to name him Jeremiah, and he was the weeping prophet”. But then I thought about it, he was grown and he liked to fuss, cuss and argue, what is the difference?

Mar 6 2011

Day 9 – It’s All in the Approach

I am one that enjoys conversation and getting to know people. Introductions, open-ended questions and eye contact, I have found are key in building a repoire. “Hello, how are you doing today? My name is Rhachelle…” These words are uttered from my mouth on a daily basis and the eye contact shows my sincerity.

Relationship building is a form of art, in my opinion, everyone’s style is different and for some it doesn’t come natural. Whatever the case, it is extremely important and can be applied in all aspects of life. “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

Today my co-worker asked, “What are you doing different?” My reply was, “It’s all in your approach.” So many people have needs that go unmet because no one took the time or didn’t ask the right questions. Get to know people, listen and then act.

Mar 4 2011

Day 7 – The Sleep Thief

I must say, lately I have been getting more sleep. I don’t know that it is more as for as hours, minutes and seconds but it is more uninterrupted sleep. No waking up for something to drink, to use the restroom or snack, I have actually been sleeping. I think so many have gotten my sleep patterns down to a science, that they are actually amazed when I don’t respond to a text, wall post or tweet. I told myself that I was going to get some rest over the past week and the week to come and I am doing just that. Well I am trying…

This morning, approaching the final hour of sleep before my alarm clock would have sounded throughout the house, my 7 year-old enters my room and says, “mom, is it time to get up?” I wanted to cry, he hadn’t interrupted my sleep in a couple of days, I was starting to appreciate it. I was slowly reminded of how it feels to be robbed of a dream that seemed like it was going to have a good ending. I replied in the calmest voice that I possibly could, “no it is not time, get out of my room”. He seemed more irritated than I was, but he politely left my room. The next hour of sleep was a struggle to get back.

Hmmmmmm, I keep telling myself that the next time I am just going to get up and make a cup of coffee. It’s not like that additional hour makes me feel any better. So in the morning when the “sleep thief” invades my room, I am going to ask him, “do you want a cup of coffee?”

Mar 3 2011

Day 6 – 3 Dont’s and a Do

The Blessed Test

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.” Psalm 1:1-2

I enjoyed this message and I hope it ministers to you as it did to me. Click on “The Blessed Test”.

Feb 26 2011

Day 3 – The Shift

In any situation, I have found putting things into perspective is key. My 2 and 3 year old united forces this evening while I was cooking dinner and took all the pillows off the couch and began to jump. On one hand, I could have become upset but on the other it kept them occupied, allowing me to finish dinner.

Change your perspective, change your life. The cup is not half empty, instead it is half full. I have no haters, there are just people that need to be shown how to love.

So when someone ask you how you day is or was, the answer should always be great. My focus has been shifted and no matter what comes my way, I know that I am BLESSED.