Day 21 – Growing Pains

As we mature naturally, we can just about pinpoint every stage of development; infancy, toddler, preschool, childhood, adolescence, young adult, adulthood and senior are the eight stages of development all marked by a different milestone. The most notable changes are those of our verbal abilities, cognitive skills, the way in which we form relationships, independence and motor and fine motor skills. Growth and development in the spiritual, works a little different and does not progress simultaneously with natural development.

We were created for a purpose, His Purpose, which was established and ordained by God. At times it seems as if we are experiencing some of the very stages we progress through naturally all over again. For some the redundancy can feel like growing pains. Though we may have mastered the skills to sustain life and to meet our basic needs, we have not attained the wisdom necessary to fulfill His Purpose. The growing pains for some get so painful that we forfeit the process and abandon His Purpose. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 The process is not for our detriment but for our benefit.

But when we truly understand that the pain is for our good, revealing those areas in our lives that need to be purged, it makes it easier for us to “Trust in the Lord” and give into the process. I tried so many times to do things on my own because I was woman enough and grown enough, but the Wisdom that I possessed was not enough. “And he said unto them, Know ye not this parable? and how then will ye know all parables? The sower soweth the word.” Mark 4:13-14 For I have learned to be content in whatever stage I am in, learning from the process and maintaining a hunger for more.

“But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” James 1:4-5

Day 20 – I Am Beyond Appalled

“WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – When it comes to teaching our daughters about the magic of motherhood some parents are turning to a new toy. The doll is called ‘Breast Milk Baby’ and it’s causing quite a controversy.” (Click on the picture to read the complete news article)

So who or what is teaching our young girls, daughters, ladies to be mothers? Why is there such a hurry for them to grow up? It’s time to slow them down. I was apalled at this when my co-worker showed me a clip of a commericial for this doll. The first thing that came to my mind was that my daughter is still working on being a big sister and preparing for kindergarten. Why would she need a doll that she can pretend to breastfeed? What message is being sent out? You turn on the TV and MTV has exploited young teen moms as they struggle with life prior and after having their children. Motherhood is not easy and not some fairytale. It should be planned and all parties involved should be prepared.

We have been bombarded by the schools trying to teach our children about sexuality and the acceptance/tolerance of homosexuality. We have been bombarded with the media and it so-called “Reality TV”. When does it stop? Why are we not out protesting anymore? Is it enough to say, “well I am going to raise my child to understand right from wrong”? No it is not! What happened to our villages? Am I not my brother or sister’s keeper? Parents are getting younger and grandparents are still raising their own children, not having any time to help train up the young mothers. To continue to live with blinders on as if it won’t affect your child(ren), I find to be ignorant.

Ok that is my rant for the evening. Let’s talk about it.

Day 19 – Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

I know my 30 days worth of post and habit changing should probably be completed but some changes can not be transformed online. One thing that has progessed online is my writing and being more consistent at it. I am using day to day circumstances to draw inspiration and I am learning more about me in the process. The other day I posted on my Facebook status, “Watch out now or you might become the subject of one of my blogs.”

Well on tonight, my children will play the stars. I am not one that is big on fastfood and I really do not like pizza. I prepare a homecooked meal daily, no matter how long the day or how much I have to get done.

But after a day of work and forgetting to take something out of the freezer this morning, the easiest thing was to order some pizza. The kids came into the house and as I instructed began picking up things that had been left out, taking the garbage out, vaccuuming, etc., so I figured hey why not just order a couple of pizzas and call it a night. I called Dominos, ordered two pizzas and in my mind we were set. Well, I have been working on a few areas with my children and one is respecting others property or personal space. You do not go in my room unless instructed. No sooner than I hung up the phone, two of my children went into my bedroom. Without any hesitation, I stated I am cancelling the order for pizza, picked up the phone and cancelled out the order. My children should know by now, I don’t mind cooking. But a greater lesson had to be taught. “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

I proceeded to the kitchen, pulled the porked chops out of the freezer and began to thaw them out. 2011 is the year that I “Say What I Mean and Mean What I Say”. I am raising 4 young men and if they won’t respect me first as their mother, a women, provider, etc., then how can I expect them to respect another young lady. I may not be able to teach them how to be men, but I can definitely teach them how a woman deserves and needs to be treated. My oldest is only 9, so I have quite a few more years to worry about girls, but the training has already started and will continue.

Day 7 – The Sleep Thief

I must say, lately I have been getting more sleep. I don’t know that it is more as for as hours, minutes and seconds but it is more uninterrupted sleep. No waking up for something to drink, to use the restroom or snack, I have actually been sleeping. I think so many have gotten my sleep patterns down to a science, that they are actually amazed when I don’t respond to a text, wall post or tweet. I told myself that I was going to get some rest over the past week and the week to come and I am doing just that. Well I am trying…

This morning, approaching the final hour of sleep before my alarm clock would have sounded throughout the house, my 7 year-old enters my room and says, “mom, is it time to get up?” I wanted to cry, he hadn’t interrupted my sleep in a couple of days, I was starting to appreciate it. I was slowly reminded of how it feels to be robbed of a dream that seemed like it was going to have a good ending. I replied in the calmest voice that I possibly could, “no it is not time, get out of my room”. He seemed more irritated than I was, but he politely left my room. The next hour of sleep was a struggle to get back.

Hmmmmmm, I keep telling myself that the next time I am just going to get up and make a cup of coffee. It’s not like that additional hour makes me feel any better. So in the morning when the “sleep thief” invades my room, I am going to ask him, “do you want a cup of coffee?”

Day 1 of 30 – sleep deprived

So I have all the mental energy that a woman, mother, sister or any other human needs to take a bad habit and turn it in to a past memory. What I lack is a consistent sleep pattern, sigh.

Last night was a complete success; the children (my 3 and 4 year old at least) were in bed and sleep by 8:30pm. I let the older two (7 and 9) stay up a little later. My two-year old wouldn’t compromise for anything. But the house was still peaceful enough for me to relax. But just like any other night, there were still countless things that interrupted my relaxation. I completed the cover letter to my resume and sent it off to a job (faith without works is dead, right). I was drawn into social media like I am every other night and subsequently still found myself getting to bed after 12 midnight.

I don’t think my sleeping late would be a problem if it was uninterrupted. However, every night (and I can count on one hand the nights I haven’t) I wake up between the hours of 3 and 4am. Some nights are easy for me to get back to sleep and others not so much. But I pay for it every morning and so do my oldest sons.

I’ll just say I am a little cranky in the morning. I wake them up to get them ready for school. I attempt to crawl back into bed to get a few more minutes of sleep, praying that the little ones are not awaken by all the talking and arguing between my sons. My boys finally are dressed and they are out the house to meet our neighbor for their morning ride to school. The house is typically quiet but now I have one eye open and one eye shut attempting to read updates and statuses on facebook and twitter.

Is it obvious already that this routine is dreadful? Not to mention, I have to consume some form of caffeine to get me going. So starting tonight, I am tweeking my schedule a bit. I am going to bed by 10pm (I am praying). I will force myself to stay in the bed if I am awakened and I will turn my phone off so that I am in no way tempted to check in on any updates.

A mommy needs her sleep. What are some natural ways that you make sure you get a full nights rest? I could use some healthy suggestions. Please leave your comments.

A Mother’s Love

As little girls, we fantasize about finding our Prince Charming, having the fairytale wedding, living happily ever after and experiencing the joys of childbirth and entering the world of motherhood. For some the blue print is clear and the steps are ordered. For others some steps are skipped, others prolonged and for a few motherhood ends up being more of a burden than a joy.

I’m entering a new season in my life, though I’ve been a mother for almost 10 years, there were and are so many things that I had not learned until now. I realize that the love my mother showed me was the only love she knew to give. However, I know its not the love I want to show towards my children. Love is patient, love is kind and those qualities can’t be bought. I’ve replaced the material items, with more quality time spent, instructions given and structure set.

I am mature enough now to realize that I do not have all the answers and will not do everything perfect the first time around. I became a mother, before I became a woman, yes I was an adult by definition, but I was immature in my understanding of life, love and family. So as I venture down a little further on my journey, I am going to share my experiences as a mother making changes. I’m breaking old habits and making new ones. They say it only takes 30 days, so for the next 30 days I am going to do a post a day.

What are some changes that you want to see? Or have you experienced any growing pains as a mother? Please share.

~Mother 2 Mother building relationships of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love.~