Tag Archives: patience

Jan 19 2012

How It All Began

English: Reflect in God. Kinnoull Church and H...

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It is amazing how little things will cause you to reflect on the bigger things.  With my site being blacked out for SOPA, I spent a lot of time away from the internet, very little facebook and twitter.  But it caused me to reflect on why I had even started this blog and how censorship could affect it.  Yes, for now it may just deal with music or vulgar language, but what if it started to impact a person’s faith and how they expressed their beliefs?

In 2010, life’s changes brought me to my knees.  I had spent the previous 10 years of my life literally going through hell.  I knew I couldn’t fix it because I had messed up so much on my own.  “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13  I was broken and in need of a breakthrough.  I asked God to show me my heart, show me those things that were causing me to self-inflict more wounds.  He gave me (3) areas, strongholds, surrendering and transparency.

I didn’t realize that for 10 years, I had been carrying baggage.  Baggage that had become stronger than me and weighing heavy, causing me to live in so much guilt, shame and self defeat.  It wasn’t until I got honest with myself that I was able to get honest with God and surrender it all to him.  The more I surrendered to Him, the good, the bad and the ugly, the more peace and joy began to enter into my life. 

So if you wonder why I don’t mind sharing and being open, it’s because I spent years hiding, hanging skeletons in my closet that were strangling me.  Through my transparency, I pray that you can witness that power of God when he has his hand on your life.  Everyday is not perfect, but each one comes with another opportunity to surrender my will for God’s perfect will.

“I show my scars so that others know they can heal.” RATL

 

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Nov 5 2011

Now or Never

Do you ever find yourself so preoccupied with your future that you lose sight of the present? Seems like life is going in circles but no lessons are being learned. We worry more, do less and expect different outcomes. If I told you that this very moment was the only real moment, what would you do differently? Would you pick up the phone and talk to a family member or friend you hadn’t spoken to? Would you take the kids on that adventure you had been putting off? Why do we allow so many things to get in the way of our now?

Imagine if we only planned for our now, we would stop missing out on our future. Any keys that are going to unlock the doors of my future have to exist in my now. I must become a better steward of what I possess in my now in order for it to usher in my future.

I’m going to hold my children closer, say my prayers a lot longer and stand in a position of surrender. Surrendering my will to remove worry and doubt, making peace with my now and believing and trusting that God has the best future for me, planned better than I could ever force.

Oct 5 2011

40 Days with God – Day 1

For the past month, I have been pulled in so many different directions. I’ve switched hats multiple times in a day and feel like I’m filling the shoes that were leftover, looked over and/or never wanted.

I knew I would have to give up something in order to get to the next level. However, I didn’t know what I could afford to give up and yet still be able to survive. I began writing out my daily schedule, including only the things I had to do, no if’s, and’s or but’s about it.

My list looked something like this:

Prayer
Get my oldest sons up and off to school
Prepare breakfast for the little ones
Get the little ones dressed
Get my daughter (kindergartener) off to school which included a 3/4 mile walk(one way might I add)
Lunch is eaten right before leaving for school or incorporated into our walk.
Naptime for the two youngest is usually accomplished on the walk back home.

I think you understand where I am going. With all the hours in a day, I am always on the go. There really isn’t as much time as I thought I had for everything I do. I may squeeze in a facebook post here or tweet there, but the time I once had, I no longer have. Which explains why my household had spun out of control.  At first, I was upset.  I thought Lord how could you give me a vision and take it back.    But then I thought, my Father knows best and he is equipping and preparing me to take this to the next level.  I had been spending more time working the vision, then spending time in prayer and receiving direction.   “For thou shalt worship no othr god: for the Lord, whose name is jealous, is a jealous God:” Exodus 34:14   My ear must be keen and my heart open to hear the instructions of the Lord. 

My devotion and meditation for the day:

“But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.” I John 2:27

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Oct 1 2011

Let Patience Have Her Perfect Work

I’ve come too far to turn around, but what’s keeping me in the wilderness? We will all experience a wilderness period at one time or another. Some will turn back to old ways but some will embrace the experience and seek to learn what is being taught. “Teach me thy way, O Lord; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name. Psalm 86:11

Last year God gave me (3) areas to study and understand, while he was freeing me from the bondage of my past: strongholds, surrendering and transparency. I had to realize that there were some things in my life that had a stronger hold on me than I had on them. I had to trust God enough to surrender them to him and believe that he would heal those areas that had been so deeply wounded. Transparency brought me to a place of complete trust and faith. My scars became proof of God’s faithfulness and bare my testimony.

There are (3) more areas I must learn while in the wilderness: faith, obedience and patience. My faith has been developed and has kept me seeking more truth and believing that He will never leave me nor forake me. “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” Hebrews 13:6 Obedience has caused me to believe the vision that was given and continue working towards bringing it to fruition.

Now patience…

The other day my daughter came to me and said “mom I just want you to be happy, not irritated or frustrated.” Two days later, she came to me and said the same thing. I did not realize it until I began researching the wilderness experience, that she was speaking of having patience. I guess I wasn’t demonstrating patience. According to dictionary.com, patience is defined as the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like; an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. And all this time, I thought God wasn’t speaking to me but he used my daughter to give me a word.

Patience is a lot like a thermostat on an A/C unit; it regulates the temperature. The thermostat makes sure its not too hot or too cold. Patience regulates one’s character, causing one to respond consistently to whatever circumstances presented instead of reacting. Patience says God is preparing something better when we don’t get what we want. Patience says there must be more to learn rather than believing we know it all. Patience says, “though he slay me, yet will I trust him”. Patience assures that a firm foundation has been built and will allow things to be tore down in order to ensure the leaks and cracks have been sealed.

Character is developed as the result of a wilderness experience and patience is the best lesson.

“But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James 1:4

Mar 28 2011

Day 21 – Growing Pains

As we mature naturally, we can just about pinpoint every stage of development; infancy, toddler, preschool, childhood, adolescence, young adult, adulthood and senior are the eight stages of development all marked by a different milestone. The most notable changes are those of our verbal abilities, cognitive skills, the way in which we form relationships, independence and motor and fine motor skills. Growth and development in the spiritual, works a little different and does not progress simultaneously with natural development.

We were created for a purpose, His Purpose, which was established and ordained by God. At times it seems as if we are experiencing some of the very stages we progress through naturally all over again. For some the redundancy can feel like growing pains. Though we may have mastered the skills to sustain life and to meet our basic needs, we have not attained the wisdom necessary to fulfill His Purpose. The growing pains for some get so painful that we forfeit the process and abandon His Purpose. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 The process is not for our detriment but for our benefit.

But when we truly understand that the pain is for our good, revealing those areas in our lives that need to be purged, it makes it easier for us to “Trust in the Lord” and give into the process. I tried so many times to do things on my own because I was woman enough and grown enough, but the Wisdom that I possessed was not enough. “And he said unto them, Know ye not this parable? and how then will ye know all parables? The sower soweth the word.” Mark 4:13-14 For I have learned to be content in whatever stage I am in, learning from the process and maintaining a hunger for more.

“But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” James 1:4-5