Tag Archives: transparency

Sep 12 2012

Losing to Win: Evelyn Lozada’s Journey to Healing

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63850151 (Photo credit: accidentalpaparazzi)

We’ve watched Evelyn Lozada rise to the rank of a Reality TV star, marry her on camera and off camera beau, Chad Johnson (Ochocinco) and become the victim of domestic violence. Evelyn, most known for her bullying behavior, no holds bar opinions and recent tumultuous relationship has lost a lot over the course of this year, bestfriend, Jennifer Williams, and now her marriage. Evelyn became the Basketball wife we all loved to hate. And after seeing her on screen relationships with her girlfriends and Chad her life became a little predictable. We knew just about every week she would end up in a caddy argument, picking a fight and we definitely knew that she would say “yes” if ever popped the question.

But one thing we probably didn’t see coming, I know I didn’t, is Evelyn seeking help and acknowledging her bad girl behavior. Fix My Life, a new series on the Own Network with relationship expert, Iyanla Vanzant, is being described as “the reality show you have never seen before.” And to my surprise, Evelyn Lozada actually sought out the guidance and began filming for the show in early July before her domestic violence incident with Chad. So what may have appeared as a downward spiral will hopefully end in some good. If there is anyone that can get to the root of a thing it is Iyanla. Hopefully Evelyn has had enough of being “about that life” and continues to evolve and grow into the woman she is destined to be.

This morning on my facebook status I posted a scripture that I have been meditating on. “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.” 1 Peter 5:10 We all suffer in different ways, relationships, financially, physically, etc. but sometimes our greatest lessons come out of our greatest sufferings. While we caught a glimpse of Evelyn’s story behind the camera, I can only pray that God is completing her story behind the scenes.

Fix My Life premieres on September 15th and 16th at 10/9c on OWN

“Building relationships of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love.” RATL

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Jul 21 2012

Happiness Is A Choice

I am realizing more and more that happiness is not based on the accomplishments made but instead on the choices I make.  I can choose to be happy and content no matter the circumstances I face.  You might wonder how can one choose to be happy when they have lost their job, behind on their bills or simply living less of a life that they envisioned for themselves.  Well, if you have envisioned better, you can create better but it all starts with a choice.  That choice may consist of making a temporary sacrifice, walking away from a relationship or truly stepping out of your comfort zone, but the choice is necessary.  And, you are the only one that can choose.

I made a choice over four years ago to walk away from a relationship that had taken more out of me than had been deposited.  It left me depleted, unhappy and confused.  I was confused as to how I could love someone so much that did not love me back in return.  But he made his choice and though it took me almost ten years, I made mine as well.  Two years ago, I made the choice that I wouldn’t allow that relationship to make me bitter but better.   Although I was able to accomplish publishing a book, it was the choice to heal instead of remaining wounded that made me happy.  Writing is my healing.

I then made the choice to stop living in shame but rather live a life of transparency so that others could also see and know that healing is possible.  “I show my scars so that others know they can heal.”   It wasn’t the design of a t-shirt from this very quote that made me happy but the choice that I wouldn’t allow anything or anyone to keep me from living a life of freedom, honesty and healing.  Transparency allows me to breath, empower those that feel powerless but ultimately it allowed me to make the choice to live and stop merely existing.

What are you choosing?

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Jul 7 2012

Christian Author Spreads Her Message Through Design

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Rhachelle Johnson:
Rhachelle Nicol’ Johnson || Author/Writer/Speaker || http://www.rhachellenicol.com
(702) 538-3366 ||rn@rhachellenicol.com

Christian Author Spreads Her Message Through Design

“I show my scars so that others know they can heal”, were the words used by Author Rhachelle Nicol’ to sign each copy of Sunday Mourning, a memoir. Little did she know that that message of hope and transparency would be transformed into a t-shirt.

Johnson, who goes by Rhachelle Nicol’ when she is writing, was born and raised in Northern California. 5 years ago, she left the comforts of being surrounded by family and friends and made her way to Las Vegas, NV. “I wanted to start over. I had been in a tumultuous relationship for about 6 years and I wanted a change.” Little did she know the change would come with a greater cost and the transition would be almost unbearable.

“I can honestly say that I found my purpose here in Las Vegas, NV. Everything I have gone through has made me more compassionate and a stronger person. I am not ashamed of the journey I traveled. I share my story as much as I can and pray that it inspires and touches the hearts of others.”

Rhachelle Nicol’ describes her writing experience as a reflection and journey back to the woman who God had called her to be. Sunday Mourning reveals some of the most tragic events that occurred in Rhachelle Nicol’s life. This memoir also shows how a young girl’s faith was tested and tried, but when she was finally able to truly surrender, God began to heal some of the wounds that had lingered long enough.

Earlier this year, Rhachelle Nicol’ began having dreams that were of pictures. 6 months after publishing and releasing Sunday Mournng to the public, the same words that she had used to sign each copy of her book became a design. She has worked with a graphic designer to transform her message and the images that she sees into t-shirts. Her design for the “My Scars” t-shirt has provided her with the opportunity to partner with Safe Nest and start a fundraiser benefiting the domestic violence shelter.

“I just thank God that I was obedient. I was scared when I first began the process of having a graphics designer take my words and the images I had been seeing and transform them it to what is now the My Scars t-shirt. But from the moment I saw the design, I knew it was exactly what I had been seeing in my dreams. I am more than humbled by the opportunity to be able to share the message of healing and hope on a larger platform, with a population that I am so familiar with. Domestic violence leaves physical, emotional and spiritual scars but God is the healer of the all.”

“I show my scars so that others know they can heal.” And He said to them, Why are you disturbed and troubled, and why do such doubts and questionings arise in your hearts? See my hands and My feet, that it is I Myself! Feel and handle Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones, as you see that I have. And when He had said this, He showed them His hands and His feet. Luke 24:38-40

Your coverage is requested to help continue to spread the word.

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Jun 9 2012

The Breaking Process

“If I clean my room can I…I’ll wash the dishes…I just took out the garbage…now can I” I hear this quite often in my home when my children are trying to convince me that they need to go somewhere or get some thing that they just can’t live without. In an attempt to get there way, they do what they think will help them to plead there case. The problem is, chores, helping out and following rules are not bartering tools and when they are used as such they never get done until something is desired. Then as parents we have to say no more often than we were in order to get them back on track, the breaking process. Sometimes the “no’s” hurt us more than they hurt our children. I had to watch my son break down in tears because I refused to give in to his request, even after he had cleaned his room, took out the garbage, swept the floor, etc. But there was a greater opportunity for a lesson to be taught, at that moment we were both learning something. What I was able to teach him was more natural, but I learned something spiritual.

Sometimes we can become spiritual brats. As we grow in Christ, we can sometimes get accustomed to having our way. We start out with so much fire and zeal. Attending service regularly, paying our tithes, fasting and praying, I can remember how excited I was to be back in fellowship with God. Sometimes we forget that doing all those things is not what gets God’s attention but rather our faith. So then we find ourselves in a situation and we are saying, “Lord I fasted… I prayed…I gave my last in offering…I attend church regularly” And the Lord is saying but where is your faith. “And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.” Matthew 8:26

Sometimes we as Christians have to also go through the breaking process. We have to get to that place where we know and believe that God can and will do just what he said he would do. So sometimes he has to say no, even after the fasting and praying. I can only imagine how it makes him feel when he has to deny his child in the midst of the trials and suffering. We can get so stuck in the routine and used to having our way but our attitude and heart are far from honoring and serving God. We have been broken to serve not because we are desiring anything but because we realize that if it had not been for the Lord who was on our side where would we be.

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Jun 4 2012

Just In The Nick Of Time

The year started off promising.  I was clear on the vision that God has given.  I had made an outline of the goals I desired to achieve.  I even had a clear vision of each event that would happen and the message shared.  So what happened? I’m still not sure but I definitely feel that God is working some things out and I know that He is faithful to step in just at the nick of time.

When God first gave me the vision of Mother 2 Mother CDC, I was excited but at the same time terrified.  I didn’t think that little ole me could carry it out.  It seemed too big.  But I was obedient.  Little did I know, I would be tested on just about every issue, burden, let down and the list goes on, that the mothers that I was called to serve would experience.   I understand now that it is more than just telling someone that they can make it or just hold, but you have to be willing to teach them how to pick up their cross.

I have had many people tell me to hold on that have never experienced anything close to what I have endured.  It got personal for me.  I have to be able to do and say a lot more than hold on, when a mother has no food in her cabinets and no money to buy any.  Or when the lights have been turned off and you have to make the decision to sit in the dark or be homeless.  Or when everyone that said they were for you, walks out on you.

What do you tell her…

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

“I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4

“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.” Ephesians 3:20

I will tell her that I am holding on with her.  I am standing in the gap for her.  And my God WILL show up just in the nick of time.

“Building relationships of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love.” ~ RATL

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Jan 19 2012

How It All Began

English: Reflect in God. Kinnoull Church and H...

Image via Wikipedia

It is amazing how little things will cause you to reflect on the bigger things.  With my site being blacked out for SOPA, I spent a lot of time away from the internet, very little facebook and twitter.  But it caused me to reflect on why I had even started this blog and how censorship could affect it.  Yes, for now it may just deal with music or vulgar language, but what if it started to impact a person’s faith and how they expressed their beliefs?

In 2010, life’s changes brought me to my knees.  I had spent the previous 10 years of my life literally going through hell.  I knew I couldn’t fix it because I had messed up so much on my own.  “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13  I was broken and in need of a breakthrough.  I asked God to show me my heart, show me those things that were causing me to self-inflict more wounds.  He gave me (3) areas, strongholds, surrendering and transparency.

I didn’t realize that for 10 years, I had been carrying baggage.  Baggage that had become stronger than me and weighing heavy, causing me to live in so much guilt, shame and self defeat.  It wasn’t until I got honest with myself that I was able to get honest with God and surrender it all to him.  The more I surrendered to Him, the good, the bad and the ugly, the more peace and joy began to enter into my life. 

So if you wonder why I don’t mind sharing and being open, it’s because I spent years hiding, hanging skeletons in my closet that were strangling me.  Through my transparency, I pray that you can witness that power of God when he has his hand on your life.  Everyday is not perfect, but each one comes with another opportunity to surrender my will for God’s perfect will.

“I show my scars so that others know they can heal.” RATL

 

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Jan 14 2012

Do This As Often As You Must…

“And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: do this in remembrance of me.” Luke 22:19

I have found myself at a new place of brokenness.  And this Scripture has been recited over and over again in my head.  The impact is a stronger desire to serve.  The problem, is that I keep trying to put the pieces together. But the same Son that was broken, that suffered and died for the sins of the world lives within.  Is it not a wonder that I too would be broken, that I too would suffer so that I may serve others?  For its in our suffering that we strengthen our faith, grow deeper in our relationship with God and learn what it means to demonstrate genuine compassion for others. 

 Just as Jesus broke bread amongst his disciples, he breaks us down so that we may spread the message of love to others.

“Building relationships of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love.” RATL

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Jan 6 2012

I Am Convinced

I am convinced of a few things, one is hard work really does pay off. I haven’t posted about Sunday Mourning in a while, but my readers keep me motivated and encouraged. After six months, Sunday Mourning is still gaining readers and the response has been great.

I am convinced that my decision to publish was the best decision I made. I must say though, when writing a book about the intricate details of one’s life, fears has a way of making you rethink everything you’ve been convinced of. I didn’t know how my transparency would be received but the reviews speak for themselves. 

I am convinced that we are more connected than we think and share more similarities than we choose to admit. Someone is waiting for you to share the words written upon your heart. Your words may help bring clarity or light to a dark situation. Trust your instinct and don’t let anyone persuade you otherwise, Be Convinced.

So to all my readers, in celebration of my upcoming birthday, you can download you ebook copy of Sunday Mourning for only .99 cents for the rest of today and tomorrow. I hope it leaves you inspired, I am convinced it will. If you prefer a hardcopy, they are now available for $10.00 and I’m signing each one.

Thank you for allowing me to be transparent and to grow right before your eyes.

“Building relationships of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love” RATL

May 6 2011

If Only I Had Known

I was warned about “your type”. I was just to grown to listen. I didn’t see the harm of giving someone my heart, but I wish I had known that all you would do was break it. I spent many of nights crying, tears that you never cared to wipe or dry. I held onto you, because I had lost myself; I no longer knew what I stood for and ended up falling for everything, everything but the right thing. The truth shall set you free, I didn’t realize the lie that was keeping me bound. If only I had known…

How many of us give our hearts to the wrong one? We ignore all the obvious signs because we are more captured by the thought of love rather than the heart of love. Love is patient, love is kind…yes we’ve heard it but few of us come to know it. We were created to love. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. (John 15:12 KJV) If only I had known, that I had to first love me in order to love another.

For years I struggled with getting my life in order because I didn’t want to stand before the “church” and be judged. I was comfortable in the world, living in sin, while surrounded by the company of others that were dealing with their own struggles. One thing that was certain, I could relate to them and they could relate to me.

The longer I dwelled on the mistakes that I had made, the more I continued to make them. The enemy will make you believe you are not worth, unlovable, unusable, full of shame and will convince you to stay away. Just like any thief, once that have stolen from you, they are covinced that it belongs to them.

If only I had known…My struggles are not your struggles and my faults are not your faults, but my pain, trials and ISSUES were real. Now I am in a position to use my life as a living testimony, TRANSPARENCY, and still some folks still don’t get it. So many get so caught up in what GOD is doing as far as the blessings now, that they forget that some folks still need to understand what he did then. I make sure to leave a trail from where I’ve come and I’m still a ways from where I’m going. But now that I know, I don’t want you saying…If only I had known.

Feb 22 2011

A Mother’s Love

As little girls, we fantasize about finding our Prince Charming, having the fairytale wedding, living happily ever after and experiencing the joys of childbirth and entering the world of motherhood. For some the blue print is clear and the steps are ordered. For others some steps are skipped, others prolonged and for a few motherhood ends up being more of a burden than a joy.

I’m entering a new season in my life, though I’ve been a mother for almost 10 years, there were and are so many things that I had not learned until now. I realize that the love my mother showed me was the only love she knew to give. However, I know its not the love I want to show towards my children. Love is patient, love is kind and those qualities can’t be bought. I’ve replaced the material items, with more quality time spent, instructions given and structure set.

I am mature enough now to realize that I do not have all the answers and will not do everything perfect the first time around. I became a mother, before I became a woman, yes I was an adult by definition, but I was immature in my understanding of life, love and family. So as I venture down a little further on my journey, I am going to share my experiences as a mother making changes. I’m breaking old habits and making new ones. They say it only takes 30 days, so for the next 30 days I am going to do a post a day.

What are some changes that you want to see? Or have you experienced any growing pains as a mother? Please share.

~Mother 2 Mother building relationships of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love.~