Tag Archives: Wisdom

Jun 9 2012

The Breaking Process

“If I clean my room can I…I’ll wash the dishes…I just took out the garbage…now can I” I hear this quite often in my home when my children are trying to convince me that they need to go somewhere or get some thing that they just can’t live without. In an attempt to get there way, they do what they think will help them to plead there case. The problem is, chores, helping out and following rules are not bartering tools and when they are used as such they never get done until something is desired. Then as parents we have to say no more often than we were in order to get them back on track, the breaking process. Sometimes the “no’s” hurt us more than they hurt our children. I had to watch my son break down in tears because I refused to give in to his request, even after he had cleaned his room, took out the garbage, swept the floor, etc. But there was a greater opportunity for a lesson to be taught, at that moment we were both learning something. What I was able to teach him was more natural, but I learned something spiritual.

Sometimes we can become spiritual brats. As we grow in Christ, we can sometimes get accustomed to having our way. We start out with so much fire and zeal. Attending service regularly, paying our tithes, fasting and praying, I can remember how excited I was to be back in fellowship with God. Sometimes we forget that doing all those things is not what gets God’s attention but rather our faith. So then we find ourselves in a situation and we are saying, “Lord I fasted… I prayed…I gave my last in offering…I attend church regularly” And the Lord is saying but where is your faith. “And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm.” Matthew 8:26

Sometimes we as Christians have to also go through the breaking process. We have to get to that place where we know and believe that God can and will do just what he said he would do. So sometimes he has to say no, even after the fasting and praying. I can only imagine how it makes him feel when he has to deny his child in the midst of the trials and suffering. We can get so stuck in the routine and used to having our way but our attitude and heart are far from honoring and serving God. We have been broken to serve not because we are desiring anything but because we realize that if it had not been for the Lord who was on our side where would we be.

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May 23 2012

The Official Rules to Being Single

We have all gone through a period or season in our lives during which we were single.  The one thing we can probably all agree on, is that whether single or in a relationship there are some standards that we must maintain and hold onto for our own sanity.  If there had been a rule book when I was dating, it probably would have prevented a lot of hurt and pain.  But through it all, I have gained a lot of wisdom and I don’t mind sharing.  Today, I am excited about this interview with the Author of “The Official Rules to Being Single”, A’esha Goins.
-What is the one rule that would in your opinion, trump all others?
The last rule, Pray always. There were moments when I thought I would literally lose my mind. I was certain no one understood my agony. It seemed, all my friends were getting hooked up and I would be single forever. The only thing I had of value was my prayer life. The time I spent on my knees in meditation gave me great comfort and relief.
-Describe the process of writing your book? Was it at all what you expected?
Writing my book started the moment my ex husband told me, he was no longer happy in his misery. When we arose the next morning and I hadn’t killed him, I knew I would have to write my story to help somebody through what I had experienced. Every time I had an ache, I would blog it on myspace. To me that was what being a writer was all about. I had a point of view that I wanted to share with the world and that was the easiest way to accomplish. It wasn’t until 200 blogs later that I knew I needed to publish something. I pulled my blog entries off of Myspace and tried to make some story line that made sense. I gave them to my friends, family, and coach to help me formulate some kind of structured presentation. 3 years later I connected with an old boyfriend, we became great friends and he encouraged my wisdom and creativity. 6 months later he became my business partner and CEO of our company. Within our 5 year plan he saw a book and speaking engagements. I accepted the vision and birthed the book.
-Why do you think it is so difficut for some of us to be single and comfortable in that season of our lives?
We were made to be in companionship. I like to tell people being alone is ok, but how much more can you accomplish as a team? I have learned in this season, I can be single without being alone. I live my life everyday with the expectation of meeting the right person. When you accept that you are alone you perpetuate loneliness.
-How does someone bounce back from a failed relationship and allow themselves to open their heart up again? Ahhhh, great question. I get asked this question the most. The answer is simple really, face reality and take responsibility. We love to play the blame game. Heartache is never our fault. How could it be, right? Why would I place myself “willingly” in harms way? For the greatest love story never told. Relationships take work and no one is willing to do it. The reality is, you opened your heart and trusted, willingly. You accepted the persons faults and accomplishments, willingly. You understood or miss understood them, willingly. Now there is an irreconcilable difference and your not so willing. It’s a cop out. Unless there is abuse, the differences can be worked out. If you “willingly” bowed out. Accept that, make the necessry adjustment to not repeat, then CHOOSE to launch.

-Describe the relationship you were in that influenced the writing of this book?
Oh “KING” as he is affectionately referred to in my book, was the man I thought I needed. He was beautiful, strong, smart and sexy. He had swagg and strength. He was everything my ex husband wasn’t, at least in my imagination. LOL! What he really is was the rebound. I wanted to feel loved considered and appreciated. He spoke a great game and offered me great orgasmic pleasure. The lesson I learned was, never mistake the “one” for the “one for right now.”

-I have found that forgiving ourselves is sometimes harder than forgiving the person that has wronged us. Was it difficult to forgive and move on?
Forgiveness is a process that in most cases can not be rushed. I have practiced it a while now and it is a lot easier than when I first started.
One of the first steps to forgiveness is facing reality. I use the “face reality” quote because as women we tend to have overactive imaginations. We will interpret what a person said or did instead of just taking it at face value. This sometimes has a negative affect in our relationships.

The second step is accepting responsibility. No matter how much we want to place blame we have to accept what part we played in the situation.

The third step is forgiving ourselves. We have to let go of the blame and the shame. I like to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself i forgive her and love her and she is beautiful. I have this conversation with myself naked and until I believed it. It used to take hours and I would cry EVERY time. NOW, it takes a few minutes and I giggle with myself. I am my own best supporter and I love me some me!

The fourth step is release. Holding on to unforgiveness sometimes gives us a false sense of power. I realized the person we haven’t forgiven has usually forgotten all about what they did and never cared how they made us feel. Meanwhile we are stuck with the weight of it. NO WAY!! Let that crap go and be FREE!! Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to be friends with the person it means you can be free of the person. And isn’t that what we want.
-What is one peice of advice that you would give to those who are in that season of “singleness”?
Forgive and try again. Never give up on love, it’s like saying your not worthy and I know you are.
-Where can we get our copy of “The Official Rules of Being Single”?
You can purchase the book at my social media networking site www.UrbanLasVegas.com or any online bookstore
-I know you wear multiple hats, what other projects are you currently working on?
WOW!! Let’s see… My book has offered opportunities for me to become a public speaker. I am enjoying this most… we also have “Singles University” which is a workshop we are starting to train men and women how to date and enjoy meeting each other.
-Can we expect another book in the future?
I am working on my next book now… I will keep it a secret, but you can expect it in 2013
Thank you so much for your time A’esha! You can connect with A’esha Goins here:
Make sure to get your copy of “The Official Rules to Being Single”
Mar 20 2012

O Lord, Hear My Cry

“You either need to kill me or rescue me because I cannot handle this.”  I can remember saying these same exact words as I called out to God in prayer.  It seemed as if my world was caving in on me, but GOD.  I am so excited to share this wonderful interview with such a beautiful author.  Author Zari Banks is a mother, editor, author and a prayer warrior.  I am sure you will be blessed by this interview and her series of books.  Prayer changes things.

What inspired you to begin writing the “O Lord…” series?

I’ve journaled my prayers for years. So, the writing of the prayers would’ve happened regardless of publication. But, specifically the first devotional, O Lord, Hear My Cry was an answer to prayer itself. A year ago I made the decision to relocate my son and myself to my hometown in Washington State. I had been laid off from my position as a school district Instructional Coach and wasn’t able to find another position, even outside of Education, with comparable pay. I had been supporting us on savings and a part-time job at my church for a while and something had to give. So going home to get back on feet made sense. Well, my ex took me to court to stop me from relocating and requested temporary custody and the judge awarded it to him. I was beyond shocked.

So, on March 2, 2011 I had to drop my son at his dad’s and he crying and I was crying. So, I sat in my car in the library parking lot and I was screaming at God from the top of my lungs and said: You either need to kill me or rescue me because I cannot handle this. You promised that if I called out to you, you’d answer and tell me things I can’t understand. I need you to answer now!

God simply said, “Read the Psalms.”

That may not seem like rescue to some, but as I read through the Psalms with a new focus – with the intent of finding the message God was giving me – I was changed. I was ushered into a real and raw relationship with Christ. And, what I discovered in the Psalms is that my struggle wasn’t new God and neither was my restoration.

Had you ever considered writing or publishing a book prior to this series?

Yes, and these devotionals are actually my 3rd, 4th and 5th books.

How long have you been writing? And when did you realize writing was something that you wanted to do?

I’ve been writing my whole life. The earliest story I remember writing and illustrating was from about age 7. And, I was so serious about my desire to be a writer I got a Bachelor’s in Journalism.

What is the most important message that you want people to walk away with after reading your series?

The message is that God is real and bigger than anything we have ever imagined. We cannot limit Him or really know what He can and will do until we die to self and have to submit to Him because it’s so messed up there’s no earthly hope.

How important has prayer been in your life over the most recent years?

Prayer is extremely important to me. I wouldn’t be here today without prayer.

How has prayer changed your life?

Prayer has saved my life.

What would you say to someone who feels like they don’t know how to pray?

Prayer is simply conversation. Everyone can do it. And, though God doesn’t require one specific process, you learn what He likes as you get to know Him. It’s just like any other relationship – only better.

Was it a hard decision to share your prayers with the world through your devotional series?

Well, I shared the prayers with a small group of other singles – some parents, some not – and their encouragement about being able to relate to and be uplifted after hearing those prayers caused me to thank God while praying one day for allowing my pain to help someone else. And, He told me, “I can use these prayers to help more.” So, I put them in book form and showed it to my mentor, Patti, and she told me to go for it.

What can your readers expect next from you?

They may notice me as the editor of some books published in 2012. Other than that you never know. The sky’s the limit.

Are you interested in writing in any other genres? 

Yes, I have three fiction children’s books already written that I’d like illustrated for publication at some point.

 How do you balance your own writing projects and the editing projects of others?

When I’m editing I make it a point to not write anything similar to what I’m editing. So, right now that means I’m not writing much at all because the projects I’m working on run the gamut of topics.

 Any last words?

 While I don’t wish struggles on anyone, I hope that everyone comes to the end of themselves, and tastes and sees that the Lord is good. The abundant life Christ promises is a reward of the relationship established through complete and utter trust, faith and submission to God. He will knock your socks off.

Connect with Author Zari Banks at Z Writes Words

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Feb 2 2012

Love With A Punch

English: Boxing Gloves Deutsch: Boxhandschuhe

Image via Wikipedia

I often post about how it is important to surround yourself with people who are going to love you unconditionally, hold you accountable and speak life into you when you can’t speak life into yourself.  I am so thankful for those that God has placed in my life, who are so willing to share their faith and do it freely.  I received an email this morning from on of my Sorors that made my spirit leap.  And with her permission, I am sharing it with you.

The email reads:

Hey everyone,

I’m writing you today to share something that is in my spirit. I was writing an email to a friend just encouraging her on her journey of faith and I realized that there are certain promises God gave me (us) in his Word, and I often rest upon these  in prayer- and apply them to my life… but I find they come up mostly when I’m feeling defeated, overwhelmed and exhausted…

When I’m frustrated, ready to give up, throw in the towel or go cry in the shower- it is then that these warfare scriptures resonate within me. These are etched on my heart and when battling the enemy – proclaiming God’s words and not my own, really bring me peace. First, the faith- your belief that these words are powerful- is what activates the retreat of the enemy and the release of Peace… I find comfort in knowing that when I speak these things out loud- change happens. I believe it- even when the change isn’t immediate.

Lets’ set a foundation-

Before you can punch the enemy dead in his face without fear of retaliation – you must bind up the spirit of fear… and know that God hears and will answer- even if it isn’t the answer you desire- he WILL answer.

2 Timothy 1:7- For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

How does one bind fear… who gives us that right?

Matthew 16:19 -And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

God hears you and your prayer prevails in accordance to his Will.

Isaiah 65:24- And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.

James 5:16- Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (Some versions say the “Fervent prayer” & that word can be described as- having or showing great warmth or intensity of spirit, feeling, enthusiasm, etc.; ardent:)

1 Thessoloians 5:17 Pray without ceasing. (Never stop praying!)

So basically, God answers before you open your mouth, but pray, and pray often. 

What makes you righteous? The acceptance of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for your life.

1 Corinthians 6:20- For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

God purchased you as His own with the Life, Death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ! The words you speak (praying or otherwise) have power- so know that your words have weight…

Proverbs 18:21- Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and he that loves it will eat from its fruit.

Now that we’ve established that you - yes you -have the right (through Jesus Christ) to loose and bind up, loose, speak and walk in the authority of the Most High and battle on His behalf and for His kingdom.

The Punch
Your belief, your words, your authority and your knowledge of God’s Word & promises are what make you a force to be reckoned with!

So here are the promises to rest on when the world is shaking around you and nothing seems to be stable…

Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Isaiah 54:17- “No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their vindication is from Me,” declares the LORD. I also like the New Living Translation- But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken!

Luke 10:19- Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

Romans 8:28- And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Matthew 18:19- “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.

So HERE IT is ya’ll….

  1. God has given you power over the enemy- he cannot hurt you!
  2. NO WEAPON (or tongue) formed against you will prosper!!!!… what are you fearful of? 
  3. God has a plan for you and it is GOOD, it is not to harm you or destroy you.
  4. Everything in your life (good, bad, and ugly) work together to completely and totally equal GOOD in your life- it is all to make YOU better, stronger, and in the end, since you cannot take credit for it- it GLORIFIES your CREATOR. God gets all the glory!
  5. Find someone who will stand in agreement with you just to seal that deal and make it a little bit sweeter. Find someone who really believes and will pray with you, cry with you, stand with you, and then PRAISE with you! :-)

KICK THAT DEVIL’S BUTT- YOU WIN! God is so good… I love you all and hope this lifts you as it did me… God is a wonderful God who has a plan for our lives, and who wants to prosper us according to His will and riches…. he’s given us bulletproof armor to go on our journey and promised our needs to be met, and our desires to be fulfilled… what else can we ask for?

Sara

www.brazenwordz.com

“Building relationships of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love.” RATL

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Jan 18 2012

Becoming Me

Blue Sky Growing a Tree Branch in the Garden o...

Image by epSos.de via Flickr

 We start off being mere leaves on a branch, but as we began to have our own families we become a branch on a tree.  Whenever you see leaves and new branches forming, it is a sign of growth.

“Tree height and branch lengthening begins with a bud. While nature provides a seed all it needs to survive, she provides great opposition to survival.”  A seed competes with its neighbors for nutrients, sunlight, water, food and space to grow.  Some seeds may even become a source of food.  Whatever purpose they end up fulfilling, they are needed.  But the seed that can withstand the
competition within its natural environment, grows into the tree that produces the fruit, leaves providing shade and wood for building.

Just like the seasons bring about changes in the appearance and growth of a tree, so do the seasons in our lives.  Trees shed leaves in order to sustain life, holding on could create issues if the proper nutrients is not available.  The same is true in our lives.  Pruning, clipping and shedding those things of old should not be seen as a negative.  Branches that have been clipped and pruned can grow on their own if planted.  “I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.” 1 Corinthians 3:6

With growth comes wisdom and knowledge, I can recognize what needs to be shed and I’m not as reluctant to let go.  I can’t “Become Me” if I refuse to sustain MY growth.

“Building relationships of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love.” RATL

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Jan 12 2012

I Plead The 5th

what are word for?

Image by Darwin Bell via Flickr

I learned that everything is not worth uttering and if it’s not worth speaking, it isn’t worth entertaining. I have put a value on my words and they continue to appreciate. I can no longer speak my own defeat because I am a conqueror. And I won’t allow another to murder me with their words. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. I speak life because there was a time that my words were speaking my own eulogy. The only problem was that there were no words to fill in the dash. I hadn’t discovered my purpose and was living a life with no drive or motivation.

What words are you using to describe your day? Your life? Change your mind, change your life. Stop accepting everything into your life, it’s okay to throw some things back. Wake up in control of your day. When we get out of the bed, our feet are the first thing to hit the floor. That means everything else is beneath us. We are not walking in worry or defeat, but we are stepping on the seeds before they can even be planted. We allow our words to imprison us, limit our options and forfeit our goals.

Live your best life. When someone attempts to change your environment with their words, just tell them “shhh” and plead the 5th.

“Building relationships of accountability and trust with all roads leading to love.” RATL

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Oct 23 2011

Breathe On Me…

“And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils that breath of life; and man became a living soul.” Genesis 2:7

Over the past week, I have been thinking about and missing my father dearly.  Not just as my natural father, but also as my spiritual father.  He nurtured and directed me, long before I recognized what was in me.  He left room for me to error but also assisted with me discovering the lesson to be learned in my error.  He supported my dreams and he always told me I could do and become anything as long as I set my mind to it.  He breathed life in me when I was lifeless.  When I had messed up and given up, he told me to keep going.

Now I feel a void in my life, that has not been filled.  We often times speak of the “fatherless child” but in the spiritual sense this can’t be.  However, it is in fact the case.  Our communities are a reflection of the church.  We have a lot of leaders, but no one is willing to be a father.  No one willing to breathe life into the next man or woman for fear of being replaced.  A “true” leader births out other leaders as a “father” assist at bringing forth sons and daughters who will develop into fathers and mothers.   The church has far too many living bodies with dead souls…breathe on us Lord.

So I ask, where are the Abrahams, the fathers of many nations? Where are the Noahs, the fathers willing to build and protect their seed even when it doesn’t make sense?  Where are the Isaacs, the fathers faithful to offer up their best sacrifice.  And the Seths, the fathers that will bring forth men to call upon the name of the Lord. “And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos; then began men to call upon the name of the Lord.” Genesis 4:26

Jun 12 2011

And My Answer Will Be Yes…

“And my answer will be yes Lord, yes”  God is requiring my ”yes”.  At the same time I must get more comfortable with saying “no”.   I do not want anyone to be more dependent on me, than they are on God.  “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7  There is no purpose to my giving or assisting if I can’t do it freely from my heart.

It seems the closer I get to fulfilling those things that God has placed on my heart, the more distractions I encounter.  The more “can you do this”, or “can you do that”, or “call Rhachelle she can do it”.   I was always so quick to say yes, but now I am realizing that even in the little things, I need to pray.  ”In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”  Proverbs 3:6

I am realizing that my “no’s” may start occuring more than my “yes” as I continue to go deeper into the things that God has purposed for me.  Though uncomfortable, I realize that it is a necessity.  I can no longer be concerned with what the people will say, but what God has said.  Understanding that the work I am set to do involves empowering others, I can not be a hinderance. 

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May 11 2011

I’m Going For It…

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward, you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

I have never been one to write affirmations but I have reached a point in my journey, feels like I am on the last leg and I must finish first. The enemy can only use my past to get under my skin, but my future is looking bright. God has promised and I must now believe. I’m going for it…

My Faith moves mountains every single day.

God has Faith in me to carry through on the passion that He placed in my heart.

I AM successful because ‘I’ have Faith in me.

Success and Good fortune flow toward me in a river of abundance.

I attract success and prosperity with all of my ideas.

Success and achievement are natural outcomes for me.

All of my thoughts, plans and ideas lead me straight to success.

Opportunities and advantages come with each door that I open.

The positive advantage is always mine.

Prosperity and success is my natural state of mind.

“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.” 3 John 1:2

Apr 28 2011

Sowers and Reapers

“The sower soweth the word.” Mark 4:14

I spoke to a friend of mine today and he mentioned needing some assistance with getting marketing materials for his company. As we began to discuss different things, he stated “alright well help me make it happen”. When we ended the phone call, I immediately thought to myself “Am I a reaper or a sower?” Understanding what season you are in makes things a lot easier, I am in my season of sowing.

So then I ask, what does a sower do? A sower motivates, encourages and supports the efforts of those whom they are surrounded by. I may not have the financial means to sow a financial seed to all but I can sow information that can save money, the key is to add value to the lives of those you are surrounded by. I also pondered the idea that I must have a strong foundation of sowing because even as a reaper one must continue to sow. The sowing never stops.

Recognize which season you are in and govern yourself accordingly, I guarantee it will help to lighten the load and give you the strength to keep going. “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Galatians 6:9